Help!

I need somebody! Is there anybody??

I'm close to a major freak out due to a massive book and theory overdose and there seems to be no sight of a helping hand...
I have been spending my days in the library, I read and read, theory after theory and I don't feel any smarter or better equipped for my personal writing...I just don't know how to find a theoretical frame work for my ideas...and this is basically freaking me out...
I don't know if this is a "normal" development in the course of the thesis, but if it is....let me know...to ease my fears, anxiety and doubts...

However....without my daily huge cup of coffee I would have already turned into a horrible monster....and the people who make this coffee, sometimes manage to cheer me up with something like this:

I took some pics on my way to the bus stop because it has been really windy and dark in the last few days, so I decided to take the shuttle from the Shopping Center to uni...and I also saw this weird and scary painting on a wall of the shopping mall....it remembered me of Fear and Loathing and the quote: Do you get paid for screwing the polar bear??

And this is the entrance of the Green Library that scares me everytime I go there....

Yesterday, I went to Downtown Palo Alto in the late afternoon to meet Lily, a girl who wrote a undergraduate thesis on the New Journalism of which Hunter Thompson was part. I grabbed a slice of pizza at a place called "Pizza my Heart" and surprisingly, it was really good. I mean not like the one I always had in Rome, but for U.S. standards, it was definitively ok! Here a pic of me and the pizza...which did look worse than it tasted =)

Then I went to American Apparel and tried some stuff which I really like, but unfortunately, they don't fit me since they were unisex and my arms are too skinny for it!!!

And then I went to the Rose and the Crown pub where I had been the other night with Celia....this is it, looks pretty cheap from the outside...and inside it has this stingy smell...sour...and it is bright inside, which doesn't fit an English pub at all....I chose to drink a beer called Piraat because I like pirates...and it was a killer!! It was the strongest beer ever! 10,5%!!! When I left, I had to hide that I was a bit tipsy and kind of staggering...

And I had an intimidating conversation with Lily, who seemed to be pretty smart...and ambitious and motivated and determined and bla bla bla, all the stuff you expect from someone who is studying in Stanford...she gave me a weird feeling...made me feel like I am pretty dumb....because she asked me about my thesis and I had no explicit theoretical background to proof my ideas of HST...and she kept asking and telling me what to do and what to write and that I will need so many footnotes for my topic because it is really vast....AHHHH!
So when I went home, I felt really really bad...and the killer beer made it even worse...I listened to Nirvana's Bleach album and it did not help at all, on the contrary...Negative Creep and Scoff and Sifting do not push your self-esteem...so please don't try this at home!!!

Well, once at home, I watched a movie called "Cassandra's Dream" by Woody Allen, which was pretty good...but I was too disturbed that I couldn't really focus...so I turned to writing some stuff in my note book which, when I read it today, sounds really really angry...

Today, I will try to be calm and relax and maybe I go to check out the Wal-Mart....yes, the biggest store that is around in the U.S., full of cheap and ugly stuff...who cares anyway....
And maybe, but only maybe I go to the library to read some more pages....