Help!

I need somebody! Is there anybody??

I'm close to a major freak out due to a massive book and theory overdose and there seems to be no sight of a helping hand...
I have been spending my days in the library, I read and read, theory after theory and I don't feel any smarter or better equipped for my personal writing...I just don't know how to find a theoretical frame work for my ideas...and this is basically freaking me out...
I don't know if this is a "normal" development in the course of the thesis, but if it is....let me know...to ease my fears, anxiety and doubts...

However....without my daily huge cup of coffee I would have already turned into a horrible monster....and the people who make this coffee, sometimes manage to cheer me up with something like this:

I took some pics on my way to the bus stop because it has been really windy and dark in the last few days, so I decided to take the shuttle from the Shopping Center to uni...and I also saw this weird and scary painting on a wall of the shopping mall....it remembered me of Fear and Loathing and the quote: Do you get paid for screwing the polar bear??

And this is the entrance of the Green Library that scares me everytime I go there....

Yesterday, I went to Downtown Palo Alto in the late afternoon to meet Lily, a girl who wrote a undergraduate thesis on the New Journalism of which Hunter Thompson was part. I grabbed a slice of pizza at a place called "Pizza my Heart" and surprisingly, it was really good. I mean not like the one I always had in Rome, but for U.S. standards, it was definitively ok! Here a pic of me and the pizza...which did look worse than it tasted =)

Then I went to American Apparel and tried some stuff which I really like, but unfortunately, they don't fit me since they were unisex and my arms are too skinny for it!!!

And then I went to the Rose and the Crown pub where I had been the other night with Celia....this is it, looks pretty cheap from the outside...and inside it has this stingy smell...sour...and it is bright inside, which doesn't fit an English pub at all....I chose to drink a beer called Piraat because I like pirates...and it was a killer!! It was the strongest beer ever! 10,5%!!! When I left, I had to hide that I was a bit tipsy and kind of staggering...

And I had an intimidating conversation with Lily, who seemed to be pretty smart...and ambitious and motivated and determined and bla bla bla, all the stuff you expect from someone who is studying in Stanford...she gave me a weird feeling...made me feel like I am pretty dumb....because she asked me about my thesis and I had no explicit theoretical background to proof my ideas of HST...and she kept asking and telling me what to do and what to write and that I will need so many footnotes for my topic because it is really vast....AHHHH!
So when I went home, I felt really really bad...and the killer beer made it even worse...I listened to Nirvana's Bleach album and it did not help at all, on the contrary...Negative Creep and Scoff and Sifting do not push your self-esteem...so please don't try this at home!!!

Well, once at home, I watched a movie called "Cassandra's Dream" by Woody Allen, which was pretty good...but I was too disturbed that I couldn't really focus...so I turned to writing some stuff in my note book which, when I read it today, sounds really really angry...

Today, I will try to be calm and relax and maybe I go to check out the Wal-Mart....yes, the biggest store that is around in the U.S., full of cheap and ugly stuff...who cares anyway....
And maybe, but only maybe I go to the library to read some more pages....

Who spilt my beer....

Hey there!

It's Sunday, Im drinking some Earl Grey tea after watching Snatch with my landlords and her daughter Tristan. I had a lazy weekend, which I definitely needed after 2 weeks of constant studying. I only read about 100 pages of theoretical stuff, plus some pages of "One flew over the cuckoo's nest" by Ken Kesey, a great novel that has also been turned in one of the best movies ever...
I think I have read about 1500 pages on the whole since I have arrived here...which is not too bad I guess...

Yesterday I had a pretty lousy day....my mood was bad, I think sometimes one needs to take a little time out and do nothing or waste time in order to be able to get one's focus back....I went to the Stanford Shopping Center which was a bad idea...I found myself staggering around in these horrible department stores such as Macy's and Bloomingdale's, which do not at all sell anything I could like...and they all have the same stuff...

So I went to uni, got some books and went out again to get some groceries at Trader Joe's....There I got caught by Blueberry-Rasberry muffins which looked like this...And I bought them...they are totally vegan and without sugar....and when I came home I had 2 of them....and they were good, but worse than I had expected..ever hoping the best, but expecting the worst usually is my motto, but this time I expected too much....

I watched 2 episodes of My name is Earl and received a mail from Celia, who had invited me to join her to go to San Francisco....she had changed plans and now wanted to go out in Downtown Palo Alto, which was fine with me since I only wanted to get a beer, some conversation and escape from books and computer....
We first went to a English pub called The Rose and the Crown and had 2 Franziskaner beers...Bavarian beer is still the best, in my opinion...Even though I had some good stuff called Sierra Nevada Pale Ale here...I wanna try this again....

Some of Celia's friends were in another club called Melt, which is rather new and for not a place that fits me...and even though they played music I normally couldn't endure, I had fun...basically because I was talking to people all the time....one of the guys there told me he was going to join the Army. I was baffled and asked him why the hell he wanted to do that?? And didn't really get an answer....

Well, we went to yet another bar and talked some more...until like 2 and went home, also because all the pubs and bars close down....

Today, I got up at 10 and spent the whole day either reading, washing my clothes, watching My name is Earl or writing emails....and I had to finish the abstract I have to hand over to my professor tomorrow...I made a time table which says that I want to finish my thesis until Mid September 2009...I hope I can manage this...but I think this is realistic...

I took a gonzoid pic of a huge Hummer limousine that I have seen on campus on Saturday...this weekend was the admission weekend, which means that the people who have been admitted at Stanford University for the next term, had a look at the university...and it looks like some rich kids are coming!!
Im sorry for my disability to take picture, but it is definitely not my kind of thing...but maybe I can invent a new style called Gonzo photography...pictures from weird angles...

So good night and good luck...and leave me some comments...you don't need to sign up, just write it under anonymous...


And now I will go to bed...

I am a Revenant...

Hey my friends...

I'm sorry that I haven't updated the blog in the last days but I have been really busy...I have spent the last couple of days in the library, every day from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m.! And I can tell you, this is not funny!


I have been working on my thesis and the abstract Dr. Fellner demanded. I still need to set up a time table saying when I want to be finished. Which seems pretty difficult to predict, at least to me. But on the whole, I can say that I want to be done after summer....

My first part is almost done...and it was really tough since I referred to many historical events in the U.S. history, to so many different concepts and ideas about the American Dream...I always had 10 books on my table and 5 internet pages opened...I mean, it definitely is interesting, but Im still scared that this part is not considered appropriate....I don't know...I guess this fear is known by everyone who writes a thesis....

Anyway, when you spend 8 hours in the library, there will come a time when you get hungry and this week I always left the library for a coffee in the sun...and once, I had my first BURRITO...I have never eaten a burrito before and here this is pretty common...so I had a vegetarian burrito with bean cream and rice inside...and a huge coffee for 50cents.

I also decided to check out a different grocery store to buy my stuff and people recommended to go to Trader Joe's. I love it! They mostly sell organic stuff, not genetically modified, no preservatives...let's say, healthy food...even though you can never know! I also like the interior of the store, really colourful & made of wood, no long rows...it really looks inviting...and also cheap!! I don't know why we don't have a store like this in Austria...

On Thursday night, Celia invited me to come to a concert at the Stanford campus. She picked me up at home and we went to the COHO, the coffeehouse, and there was a nice, Jack Johnson-style band...and many students...some with their computers, still working on something...which I consider a bit weird...I had my first beer in ages and I really enjoyed it!

Last night, I was really tired when I came home at 7. I had dinner with Lynn and Rich and Lynn invited me to come with her to her neighbour's. She has to take care of their cat, who suffers from cancer (!!! never heard about that!!!) and needs special treatment...Lynn showed me around their house and I was really impressed. A beautiful house with a pool in the backyard and a poolhouse and a wine cellar!! Lynn told me they were of Italian origin and had a winery somewhere in California...and that they had cable Tv and we could watch a movie...So we checked out what was on and decided to watch Burn After Reading, which I had already seen, but it is so hilarious that I wanted to see it again. And we really enjoyed the movie...Brad Pitt is amazing in this movie....

Well, then I went to bed and at 2 a.m. I woke up again because I had a horrible nightmare! One of these were crazy things happen, but you don't know why...and I left the light on and fell asleep again. But I woke up again because I had another horrible nightmare!! So I look pretty bad today and if at all, I will go to the library later...and no shopping even though I had planned to do some shoe shopping...

Another annoying thing these days, is the weather...first, it was so hot that you didn't even want to take the bike...now, we're back to cool weather - the sun's shining but there are some clouds and the wind is really cold...so I take my computer and place myself in my bed, where I have a heating blanket...and quoting Lynn, "You can toast yourself from both sides...."

So then, have a nice Saturday...Tonight, I maybe go to San Francisco with Celia!! We'll see...
I'm awfully sorry my blog is not really exciting, no fear&loathing stories, no interesting places, etc. But I guess, I have to focus on my thesis and my limited credit does not allow me to waste all money on travelling, although I'd love too...It makes me feel a bit weird that Im here in California, probably one of THE places to be on this earth, and except for the library, I don't see much...but you know, I think there is a time for games and fun, and a time for studying...and right now, it's the time to figure out how to proceed....

However, I'll appreciate any encouraging, criticizing, funny comments....and now I go to Downtown Palo Alto to relax a bit before I go back to work....

Hotprowl...

Hey there!

I've to admit I have felt a bit bummed in the last two days and couldn't find the motivation to update this blog...Furthermore, I was hanging out in the library, amidst loads of books, trying to figure out how to proceed with my thesis.

Therefore, I asked my professor to give me a hint at what could be a good strategy, but unfortunately she left me blind in the dark...at least, this is how it feels right now.
I've quasi finished the first part of my thesis which is a historial explanation of the American Dream, where it comes from and how it developed over time. I just wanna stuff the text with some more quotations and sources, so it is richer.
Now for the second part, I only see a huge question mark above my head....

And the funny thing is, my teacher wants me to write an abstract, a bibliography and a time plan for my thesis which I have to hand in on Monday...plus I have to read the texts for the course I'm doing with her!! Sounds like I'm going to have a great weekend!!

However, yesterday I got the chance to relax after a whole day in the Lane Reading Room. Celia, a girl who studies German and attends the course of Dr. Fellner that I have to attend too, asked me if I wanted to join her in the Haus Mitteleuropa, the Germany/Austria themed house, because they have a German Stammtisch with food and drinks. On my way there, I saw some of the fraternity houses and student dormitories, which was pretty interesting since I have only known this from TV...here is one...if you zoom, you can see the Greek letters on the house....

We had some food and talked about the differences between Austria and the US, between Stanford and the University of Vienna, which are, as you might have guessed, huge!! She offered me a ride home and we walked to her car over some remote parts of the Stanford campus, I haven't seen so far. It's immense and they even have a lake!! (which right now is a bit dry...)It looks so idyllic!! There is really no doubt that people here can totally focus on their studies while being surrounded by such great landscapes...the overall mood on the campus is totally relaxed and calm!

But it is soo hot these days! And I can't take my bike to uni because I now have access to the Stanford University Wireless and can bring my computer to uni which is great but my bag (I brought only one) is not adapted for carrying books and a mac, and neither am I...I hate to carry heavy things...

Well, it's 9.50 a.m., I will dress and get ready to go to library for another day of books and thesis....

PS: Excuse the bad quality of my pictures...but I'm really not good with that and I also use my mobile, so the quality isn't that great anyway...Im glad I didn't chose to become a photographer =)

Off the Rails...

Hey there!!

Uff, it is hot in California! The sun is burning down and I didn't bring enough summer clothes...che stupida!

Today, I slept long because it is Sunday and sometimes you need to relax. After talking to my mum, I went to Santa Cruz Ave, a really nice street in the neighbourhood. There's Ann's Cafe and it is a relic from better times. A real 1950s diner that has opened its doors in 1946 and is still run by the same family. I ordered some coffee and blueberry pancakes.
What I got, looked really delicious. And it also tasted amazing...really sweet...rrrr...I poured some more syrup on it and it was succulent...also the coffee was great...I normally don't enjoy black coffee, but this one was really good. However, these pancakes had the highest amount of calories I have consumed for breakfast ever!!
Then I had a look around Santa Cruz Ave since there is an art festival in the street and people exhibit paintings, handmade jewelery, glass, etc. But the prices are really high...at least you don't have to pay for looking at stuff...

Yesterday, I went to San Francisco. I got up at 8 and was puzzled by a grey sky. I waited an hour until the sun came out, rode the bike to the bus stop and took the Samtrans bus to San Francisco which costs 4.50$ one way and takes about an hour. The train is way faster, but costs more and I like to look outside the window...it doesn't make a difference if it takes an hour or 30mins.

When you enter Frisco in the moring, it is amazing to see the heavy fog that lies over the city....the bridges vanish in the fog and you can't see the other end...

I got off at the Transbay Terminal in Mission street and first, I didn't know where to go. So I went down to the shore and walked to Fisherman's wharf, the famous place at the sea directly in Frisco. I took some pics of Alcatraz, the island which once was the "home" of Al Capone. The area in the wharf looks really nice with all the shops but it is packed with tourists, so I didn't wanna hang out there. I saw the Golden Gate Bridge from there, but I didn't wanna go there since it is far and I wanted to see some special parts of the town. At Pier 39, sea lions hang around because it is a save place and when they are not hunting, they need to relax, which looks like this.

On other the piers you can see historic ships and submarines...and a museums of the oldest slot machines ever...I took pics of amusement slot machines for boys who could enjoy a girl strip in pictures for a quarter dollar.








I took a bus to Market Street and on my way there, I saw the famous O'Farrell nightclub, where Hunter S. Thompson used to hang out and do the night manager.

In Market Street I had to wait for another bus to go to Haight - Ashbury, the district where the American hippy culture was born and had its peak. Hunter S. Thompson used to live there too. I got off the bus too early and had to climb one of these steep Frisco hills that the city is famous for. Once I arrived in Lower Haight, I felt at home. The houses are so beautiful, there are peace signs all around and people sit on the stairs and read the newspaper. I went along until I arrived in the middle of the district and I can only say, I WANNA LIVE THERE!








This is probably one of the most relaxed places in Frisco and the people there are really crazy. There are still some hippies around but the place has been taken over by the "new" counterculture, such as the punk or at least the rock people, vintage styles, but also brands that are fashionable but do not represent a real counterculture, such as American Apparel and RVCA. There are skateshops, hippy shops with vintage hippy clothes, smoke shops, record stores, bike stores (because they seem to love bikes in Frisco), secondhand clothing stores and many many diners and pubs and clubs and also tattoo parlors. First, I wanted to check out one parlor that was close to Haight-Ashbury, but I ended up in another one, talking to Derick Montez, who used to be a street artist, and has a tattoo shop in Haight Street. He is really nice, has done some great tats and we talked about one of my tattoo plans... I guess I will visit him again =)










I also went to a record store and got all excited to see how much stuff they have. I was in there for more than an hour and was looking for some stuff. However, they didn't have the records I wanted.

I had a coffee break in the Golden Gate Park, which is like next door and then took the bus back to Market Street, where I had a look around and found the usual European designer stores that I hate so much.

I then went home, since I had walked soo much and was tired and I had been invited for dinner by Humberto and Ana, the couple who lives here in the house with me. So we had a really nice dinner, all people who currently live in the house, Humberto, Ana, Prof. Juan Sanchez and our landlords, Lynn and Rich and their daughter Tristan who came to visit. Humberto and Ana had prepared some pasta with mushrooms, basil, asparagus and pistacchi. Additionally we had cheese, dried tomatoes, salad, olives and red wine and a lot of fun while eating...

I then went to bed and fell asleep like a stone...I had crazy dreams but this happens...

Well, now I go to study a bit outside...I need to read many pages for tomorrow since I have my class with Dr. Fellner and need to go on with my Thompson research.

So good night and good luck....and leave me comments...it really works now!
xoxo

Less labor...

I like these ideas....this is the way to go...

Read this article! Sorry, only in German!!

http://ooe.orf.at/stories/356020/

Less labor, more time for life!!

Pretty Scary...

Good evening ladies and gentlemen...

Same shit, different day...or so...Im falling into routine...but it is ok...

I woke up at 9, had my breakfast and went to uni...and was lost in the huge library...I found places that I haven't seen before, halls full with endless rows of books...pretty scary...

And also another reading room, the Bender room...which looks like a Starbucks, except for the fact that they don't offer coffee...which would be great!

I met the other Austrian student, Thomas, who is also doing some research...and he brought me another book from my teacher, Dr. Fellner, that I have to read for the next class on Monday...

Today I read 200 pages, so now we are at about 709 pages in 4 days...

And everyone told me I look tired...no wonder...my contact lenses were almost popping out...
However, I enjoyed a little break in the sun...drinking cheap (50cents) coffee and listening to Something for Rockets...

I rode my bike home, took a wrong turn again...and with the books in my bag, riding wasn't much fun...
I also went to Saveway's to buy some dinner and was impressed by the vegetarian stuff they have. I ended up buying some veggie meat-free patties and some instant mashed potatoes since I was too lazy to cook&peel some real potatoes....

Before dinner, I talked to my landlords, Lynn and Rich Wilson...they are really nice and told me some interesting stuff about Obama, who is being praised in Europe, but here people start disliking him since he makes citizens pay more taxes...and all his staff has been caught not paying taxes...but you don't really get this information on TV or the national media, just over the internet...They also told me that Obama can't hold a speech without teleprompter and sometimes he messes up the speech because he reads stuff from the teleprompter that was supposed to be read by other people. You don't hear about this in Austria....
We went on talking about American politics and I really enjoyed the conversation...

Then I had dinner with Ana and Humberto, a Portuguese couple who also study and teach in Stanford...they are nice too and invited me for dinner tomorrow evening...
And I obviously made one of Lynn's plates crack - I warmed the veggie patties in the microwave (I actually hate this thing but when one is lazy, it comes in pretty handy!!) and when I took the microwave-save plate out of the nuke and put it on the sideboard, suddenly it made a weird sound and there was a crack in the nice plate...CHE PALLE!!
Stuff like this always happens to me...it makes me feel weird...argh!

Now im in my room, pretty worn out and tired, sick of the contact lenses but too lazy to get up and remove them...I will go to bed soon since tomorrow I need to be fresh and fit to go to San Francisco at 8 a.m....I will visit the Haight Street, do some shopping, check out a tattoo parlor and a street where Hunter S. Thompson used to live and a bookstore he used to buy books at...and maybe there is time for the Golden Gate Bridge...and the rest of the classic tourist sights...

So have a nice day and leave me comments (even though my blog is boooring...)
(A pic of me after 200 pages of early American history and Puritan papers...)

Good night and good luck!

Into the Hollow...

Hey there!

I just had a shower and feel like relaxing a bit. Writing has always been a form of recreation for me, so I decided to slash together another blog update...
I can't offer you many interesting stories since I spent another day in Stanford's Green Library and finished the Hunter S. Thompson biography by William McKeen called Outlaw Journalist. Now I have read 2 book (approximately 519 pages) in 3 days...and I know a lot more about the wild journalist Im writing my thesis on...Here a nice pic of him I found in that book...

I took the bike to go university and since it was the first time, I took a few wrong turns on the Stanford campus and ended up at Stanford Medical Center. For a short moment I had to think that maybe I was exactly where I should be, considering my stange condition this morning...but medical students are weird and I didn't feel welcomed there...
So I rode to the library, had my obligatory Vanilla Latte at the Moon Beans coffee box and then vanished in the depths of Lane Reading Room for about 5 hours...

This is how I looked after these 5 hours...


On my way home, I stopped at the bank and got angry because these asshole charge me 3$ for withdrawing cash at the ATM...in the U.S., they always buttfuck you in the end...they are smart when it comes to making money...

Then I parked the bike at home and strolled to the local pharmacist to buy some contact lenses fluid and other stuff...then I stopped at Saveway's to buy some fruit and was amazed that the fruit and a plain yoghurt, which was by the way hard to find in between the rows of crazy flavours such as peanut butter/apricot, cost almost as much as the other stuff...no wonder, Americans tend to eat crab since it is way cheaper than the healthy stuff...

A pic of the creek I cross on my way to uni...

When I crossed the street a saw a homeless guy, pushing a caddy on the sidewalk...he looked awful and I felt bad...I felt even worse when I saw that this poor bum was wearing a jacket saying STANFORD in big letters on the back...you don't need to be Shakespeare to see the irony in that!

Well, that's it for tonight...I gotta prepare some stuff for my library session...tomorrow I will change topic and head for the American Dream stuff...I need to check for book to finish the first part of my thesis...
On Saturday i plan to go to San Francisco...Im already getting excited about it...since I will visit the Golden Gate Bridge and the Haight-Ashbury district, where Hunter S. Thompson lived in the 1960s....

So good night and good luck!