A Long Slow Goodbye...

Hey there!!

Today was kind of a sad day. I had to say my first goodbyes. First of all to San Francisco and all the city now means to me. And then also to Dr. Fellner and Stanford University. Because tomorrow is my last day here in California. And this makes me incredibly sad.
But let me tell you about the last few days I have spent in the Bay Area and the good experiences...

Last week after my birthday, I went back to studying and my thesis, as well as the CSI:Vienna course. I did some more reading and I think I have read about 5000 pages in my time here....I guess this is a lot...and it does not include the stuff I read privately...

On Saturday, I broke out of the routine and went to San Francisco to get my personal birthday present. Therefore, I had a little "date" with Derick Montez in the tattoo parlor. When I arrived there, I felt totally comfy and fine, a good mood for gettin something that you will carry around for the rest of your life...It took us quite a while to figure out the exact position for the script on my wrists...but when we finally had found it, it was done pretty quickly. And it didn't hurt as much as I had expected! Moreover, Derick was really fast and I enjoyed watching him working "on" me...I never had the chance to sit face-to-face with a tattooer and actually observe what he is doing...so I enjoyed seeing it from a different perspective this time! And we had a pretty good conversation going, so the time flew by...
And now it says "Buy the Ticket" on my left arm and "Take the Ride" on my right. This is actually a sentence by Hunter S. Thompson, taken from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. For me it means that whatever situation I find myself in, I should enjoy it, experience it, go with the flow and not be afraid of anything...If I am a good person, good things will happen to me...and I do not want to ever forget this....so now it's inked into my arm forever...
It is also a souvenir from this journey to California, Stanford and my thesis...
The tattoo came out really neat!! Very fancy and special - perfect for a stupid girl like me! I love it!!! I can't wait to see what it will look like when it is all healed up....uuuuu!!

After it was done, I walked back to Market Street and found my name written in concrete on the floor...it was a funny coincidence...so I took a picture...(maybe this tells me about where I should live in the future??)

It was so funny how people looked at me running around with my wrists wrapped up in foil - like I had just tried to kill myself by slitting my wrists...and one guy even walked up to me asking what was wrong with my arms...I casually answered "I just slit my wrists" and I would have loved to take a pic of the expression of horror in his face...I then admitted it was only a joke and I only got tattooed, but he was absolutely not amused....

My aunt had sent me on a mission to buy some clothes for her at Abercrombie& Fitch. And this damn store is my worst nightmare! It is dark inside, it smells like a super strong "male" -kind of perfume and the music is loud and annoying. And every minute a guy walks up to you and asks if you find everything alright. I got kind of scared in there...it is horrible! And the worst thing is I had to work my way through the whole store and also to talk to these people working there, but still I didn't get what I wanted because they just didn't have it. I was so happy when I could leave the store...I will definitively avoid it in the future...It is just unbearable...like Ikea for more than one hour...NO WAY!!
My friend Celia had decided to come to Frisco and we wanted to go to a club, but ended up talking and drinking beer in a pub...

I was back home at 2 a.m and slept like a stone. But I got up early since people had advised me to go to San Francisco again on Sunday. It was the day of the Bay to Breakers run...and everyone said it would be a crazy scene with people all dressed up, drinking and running around the city... like a carneval procession...So I went there...But the bus got caught in a traffic jam...and then it did not stop where it usually does, but some blocks away...so I had to walk....I was already late for the damn run and missed the fun (it started at 8 a.m. and the main run was over at like 12)...and then I wanted to go to Haight-Ashbury again...but the bus did not arrive for like 30 mins...and when it did arrive, it was so crowded that I felt claustrophobic...face-to-armpit...not a nice thing if it is really hot...and people are sweating...
And the bus moved so slowly...at some point, I had enough and decided to walk...but walking in San Francisco is sometimes pretty exhausting because it is going up and down like a rollercoaster...and with such a heat...I felt like toasted when I arrived at my destination. I said "Hi" to Derick in the tattoo parlor and then went to the Golden Gate Park. On my way there, I started gettin an idea of this Bay to Breakers run...there were crazy people all around...drunk...and there was music all over the place...I enjoyed watching people...
In the park, I sat down and observed...there were musicians playing...people lyin in the sun, playing ball games, some were even sitting in the trees...singing, dancing...totally relaxed and enjoying their lives...I was kind of contagious because my mood totally changed and I felt good...like really good...
But this is a thing that I love about Frisco. People here are so liberal and open-minded. It feels free, like you can be whoever you are and it is just fine...and there are so many interesting things around...you get the feeling that you can be easily a part of it...and some people there made me think a lot...reflect on the way I am...and my attitude towards life...it really opened my eyes in some way...I learned a lot, the few times I have been there...
Yesterday I went there again and I got totally caught by its atmosphere...I really fell in love with its spirit...there is also one place that feels and somehow also looks like the Arena in Vienna, my favourite club/bar/place to get a beer...I don't wanna even think of it, otherwise I get sad...and sadder...I will come back though, I somehow left a piece of me there...and I hope it is going to be soon...the sooner, the better...





Well, today we had the presentation of our class work in the CSI:Vienna class in the House Mitt here in Stanford. It was really nice...and interestingly enough, some people showed up...we had free iced coffee with Vanilla ice cream, Wiener Eiskaffee is what we call it back home...and we presented some of our ideas to the students...it turned out pretty well...

Then I went to have dinner with Prof. Juan José Sanchez, who lives in the same house I live in...and he is a great person...I enjoy talking to him because I get the feeling I can learn something...he is so smart...and aroused my interest in the Spanish/Mexican culture...which was something I had considered impossible first...but since Spanish is way more present here in California than in any place I have ever been to before and I got confronted with many aspects of this culture and had to make sense of it. So Prof. Sanchez was the person who helped me a lot with that....

I took my bike, and rode home on campus, for the last time...I don't know if I will see Stanford ever again...it made me sad. I had really a great time and my brain swelled to the size of a basketball with many new ideas..and also new plans for my future...
Here a goodbye shot...while driving away from the Main Quad...

Now I am home...updating this blog for the penultimate time...and I started packing my bag...and I tried to be a strong girl, not to cry and behave like a damn grown-up person...but still I am not happy to leave this place...I've had such a great time, met some amazing people and enjoyed myself so much...this journey has triggered so much in me...I can't say I am the same person...I am not the Sonja that has arrived here 6 weeks ago...I feel much stronger, more optimistic and more self-confident...and I definitively needed that!

I guess I will update this blog as soon as I am home in Austria (where my friends and family are waiting - the only thing that I do care for there) and post some more pics...

So this was not the last time...but the beginning of a long, slow goodbye...