Another week, some more days in the library...After the crazy weekend in Tahoe, I have returned to normality, or at least I try to.
However, I'm having some stress...first of all with writing my new abstract! Yes, a new abstract! Because I needed to change my whole approach in order to make it more like a cultural studies text instead of a mere summary of what Hunter S. Thompson said about the American Dream. But even though I have written like 40 pages that I can not use anymore for my actual text, I am not pissed off or demotivated...It's ok and I have definitively learned some new stuff....which I will also apply on my thesis...
Another thing that I have discovered today is the fact that there already is a thesis on Hunter S. Thompson and his idea of the American Dream!! First, I was close to a major freak out , thinking of how I could get rid of the person who wrote the thesis and destroy all evidence. I was scared, I might need to change topic...but my professor calmed me down and told me that I can cite it and can write my personal ideas and contrast them to the other work. And I had a look at the paper: The girl who wrote it did exactly what I wanted to do in the first place!! This is so funny! Because I have decided on Friday not to do it this way because we considered it too little theoretical...well, even though I am not going to do a pioneer's work on Thompson and the American Dream, I am now motivated to write a better thesis than this one!!
However, there is one problem that keeps me from working 100% - my stomach. I have a really sensitive stomach and as soon as Im stressed, worn out, angry, sad, my stomach is not able to do what he is there for! So I'm pretty much in constant pain these days! I have already bought some pills (they are pink and taste like cherry - God, why can't there be more pink, cherry medicine in Austria???), but they did not help at all, they made it only worse (cmon, they are pink and taste like cherry, how can you assume they work??)!!
And so today, I went to the pharmacy, explained my problem and, if you believe it or not, I got another pink medicine, this time some sirup! And I had to drink it, I feel a bit better...but still, I feel like a goddamn balloon and can not sit upright since it aches then...So, I will give this pink sirup one more day before I try yet another thing...I hope I won't end up like Kurt Cobain, who actually took heroin to kill the pain his stomach was causing. However, I won't ever reach this state, since I'm not even close to be such a genius as he was...at least mentally...the heroin addiction might be easy I guess...not that I wanna try it...I stick to my pink stuff...
Well, now I'm going to watch a movie with my new housemate, Till from Germany. He has arrived on Sunday, starts an intership in Stanford on Monday next week. And so to waste some time, I proposed myself for wasting it with him...
I'm eventually going insane...so leave me a comment!! Goddamnit!!!
Music of the moment: Scratch Acid - Owner's Lament!! (I love this one!!), Left Alone (good, simple ska/punk/surf band) and Deerhunter - Microcastle, for my soft moments....
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